January 12, 2004

I have finally gotten over a mild case of the flu. Thank goodness for that, because doing a show like FROGZ on an uneasy stomach is definitely not what the doctor ordered.

Our first show in Newport went very well, and Carol and Jerry poured us all champagne and then gave us notes in their hotel room. In the end, Jaime and Kelly wound up dancing naked on their balcony, Danielle perfected her Eight Minute Abs, Carol and Jerry watched scary movies, and I ate a whole lot of cheese doodles (evidence that I wasnít yet feeling all that sick).

At the end of our Monmouth show, I lay down upstage as soon as the curtain closed and tried to sink into the land where there is no nausea. A friendly stage hand brought me some water, which made me cry in that weepy sort of way.

At the beginning of the Hermiston show I didnít think that I would make it through to the end. By intermission, however, I started to see the glimmer of being well again. Over the course of the following afternoon I regained some of my personality, and was even able to show some mild emotion.

It is always so liberating to wake up to wellness. I now remember that the show is fun to do. I remember that I love Sam a whole lot. I remember what itís like to want to be awake and living.

This morning Danielle drove while I navigated us straight on I-90. The sun finally came out, and we drove in the glorious sunshine over snow-covered fields of wandering cows and horses. By the afternoon we were in the mountains again, and memories washed over me of previous trips to the Rockies and its neighboring ranges. I remember quizzing my dad on pop music in the northern reaches of Glacier. I remember riding the tram up from Banff with my fellow Boxers, marveling at natureís dramatics. I remember the three confused ducks in Rocky Mountain National Forest, and how Colleen and I developed a whole back-story to illustrate their tenuous love triangle. I remember floating on my back in a glacial pool and looking up at the intensity of the blue and the green. I remember walking alone down a dusky summertime road, seeking solace beneath the mountains.

Jaime bought us a round of drinks tonight in the lounge. Twenty floors up, we watched the sun set over the Bear Tooth Mountains. Tomorrow there will be a show and then I sense some serious frolicking.