April 25, 2004

Yesterday was all weird. I went to return the curtains in the Northwest (we ordered better ones off the internet), and everything seemed off. Ordinarily I would have loved the trip. It was seventy-five degrees and everyone was out strolling, eating ice cream, sitting at outdoor cafes, shopping, enjoying the weather. But for some reason everyone just bugged me. The women wore khaki capris and scoop-necked cap tees and gold jewelry. The men wore polo shirts and Bermuda shorts and boat shoes. The teenagers had ridiculously short couture skirts and ripped tee shirts and flip flops. There was a feeling of money and superficiality. I was irritable and distracted and tired and hot. When I got home I felt all sad and hormonal and Sam said, "what's wrong?" and I said, "I don't know." And then I started feeling anxious again, which was like visiting an old friend I haven't seen in a few weeks. I thought, "I remember you," but it wasn't too bad, because I was able to take a step back and look at things from the outside. It's so much easier to evaluate complicated emotions when there is a break from them.

And I kept thinking why am I feeling like this? It wasn't PMS, I had eaten and drank lots of water. The weather was beautiful. My life is pretty good right now. And then I realized, wait, I haven't taken any vitamins today! For the last month I have been vigilant about taking vitamins a multivitamin, an antioxidant, a calcium-magnesium supplement, fish oil, and co q10. Apparently they were working, because the one day I didn't take them I felt terrible.

Maybe it wasn't the vitamins, though. Maybe it was just more evidence that hormones are tricky little buggers. But today I took my vitamins and I feel okay. Hooray for supplementation!

Last night we went to a cast party at Jerry and Carol's. There was great cheese fondue and strawberries and chocolate and champagne. Jerry made 112 BBQ chicken wings, and spent much of the evening happily forcing them on people. It was fun to sit squished on the couch with all the girls from New Hampshire and to play pinball with Rex and to be silly with Jaime and Carol, and sit in front of the fire with Danielle, and share common experiences with Pat on the back porch. We finally left at about 2: 00am and took Danielle home. She is going to have her ACL surgery in three weeks, and Sam and I are looking forward to being there for her.

This morning we woke up to warm breezes from the window and sunbeams and the sound of rustling leaves. We dozed in and around and on top of our jersey sheets, and finally got out of bed at 1:00 in the afternoon.

Sundays are great.