July 18, 2004

Crikey and Me
(the beginning to a new story)

A piece of the ceiling had fallen op top of the microwave and in its final death throes the microwave cries 12! 12! 12! and I think shoot, I am in so much trouble. Crikey blinks and moves his eyebrows up and down, tongue hanging out. "Crikey, Crikey," I say and laugh and then almost immediately stop laughing because a piece of the ceiling is sitting on top of the microwave and Cupcake is, like, totally gonna kick my butt.

And it's actually more than a piece of the ceiling that's fallen. It's kind of the whole thing. And it's actually more than the microwave that's demolished. It's the blender and the toaster and, oh, the dishwasher and the, ah, the oven. And the fridge. And the pantry and the tables and all of the chairs.

Crikey tires to get out of the bathtub but there's water everywhere and I'm like, "Crikey, sit" and instead Crikey shakes and it's raining and I do my best to take cover even though I'm already drenched.

Dude, Cupcake is totally gonna kill me.

There is something going for me though. I mean, I did what she asked. So what if the bathtub is in the kitchen? At least the dog is clean.